The Seagull Syndrome

A family member who lives far away

who rarely is involved with day-to-day care 

but visits occasionally to make demands or criticize the primary caregiver’s methods.

This goes back years. 

Recently culminating in a visit without a visit.

The visit slowly became the problem. First because it was on your terms, then because your terms became completely unreasonable to others.

Untenable now.

Then don't visit.

The demands are too many and too large. 

Love is unconditional but the visit had conditions. Where when how and how long. 

We were the only ones that made visits difficult, you said.

But this goes back years. Think senior care.

The fly-ins and the flap-outs. Flap-outs with conditions. 

Do this. Should have done that. 

Why didn't you just do it yourself while you were here?

It must have been nice to flap out and conduct us from afar. It was not nice to be the ones left here that you thought had to be conducted.

We were here trying to keep all the plates spinning.

We succeeded despite all the seagull poop flying at us.